marriage and babies

Liam: I love you so much, Mummy!

Mummy: I love you that much too, pet.

Liam: When I grow up, I’m going to marry you, Mummy.

Mummy: No, Liam. I’ve told you this before… you can’t marry me because I’m already married to Daddy.

Liam: Oh yeah. But if I can’t marry you, then who can I marry?... And if I can’t marry anyone, then how will I get a baby?!

Mummy: Liam, you don't have to worry about having babies just yet... or getting married -or not- for that matter. And, anyway, if you do get married, it'll probably be to someone you don’t even know yet. It's not going to happen for a long time.

Liam: Oh yeah because I have to be more than twenty, don't I?

Mummy: Yes. Or thirty even!

Liam: [tone of disbelief] Thirty?!!

Mummy: Yes, I was nearly thirty-one when I married Daddy.

Liam: [fits of laughter] Ha-ha-ha... thirty-one!!

Mummy: I don't see what's so funny about that!

Liam: [pulls himself together] Oh, nothing! [Pause] But Mummy, how do you know who you want to marry?

Mummy: You just know because you fall in love with them and you want to stay with them. Anyway, maybe you won’t want to get married at all. And that's ok. Lots of people don’t get married.

Liam: But then how can I get a baby?

Mummy: Well you don’t need to get married to have a baby. You just need to be grown up and with someone you really love and who really loves you. And the two of you have to really want a baby, and...

Liam: No, stop!... Actually. It’s ok, Mummy. Forget it! If I can’t marry you, I’ll just wait till I’ve grown up and then I’ll travel around the world looking for the people who don’t want their babies, and I'll get them and take care of them.

* * * * * * *

[two minutes later]

Malachy: Mummy, when I grow up I'm going to marry YOU!

Mummy: Oh, Malachy... you know you can't marry me... I'm you're Mummy and I'm already married to Daddy!

Malachy: OK. I'll marry Lorcan then.

Mummy: You can't marry him either. He's your brother.

Malachy: OK, then Liam!

Mummy: Um, Liam's your brother too!

Malachy: Oh yeah. [Pause] ...Well, Anna says she's going to marry Liam. Maybe I could marry Anna too!

Mummy: ¿¿???!!!