whispered wishes

Life with our sweet 3 and-a-half year-old Lorcan just could not be more entertaining. He is full of chat, has already mastered the delicate art of sarcasm, does not like to be sermoned (recently interrupting one of my lectures with a casual: "yeah, yeah, mum... blah, blah") and, most of all, he just loves to make us laugh.

Lately he's been doing a lot of staring pensively into the distance and then quietly pronouncing a new and special wish. It's not so much what he wishes for... it's how he says it: dead-pan serious, like he's having some sort of philosophical epiphany. Even when we burst out laughing, he just keeps staring off into the distance, all enthralled, imagining what it really would be like if his wish came true.....

Just some of the things Lorcan has been wishing for lately:

“I wish it would rain popcorn”

“I wish I could fly like my balloon”
“I wish I could swim in ice-cream”

“I wish I could sleep awake”

monologue

Lorcan asks a lot of questions. He’s in data gathering mode right now, full systems go. Just like every other kid his age.

But the great thing about Lorcan is that sometimes he doesn’t even need you to answer his questions. He'll happily do it for you himself.

The trick is to pause slightly before you respond... and if he’s feeling inspired, he won't bother waiting for you to give him some banal, unimaginative, adult reply.... he will, instead, come out with an answer all of his own.

And it's usually way more interesting than anything I could say.

Sitting on the loo five minutes ago, he came out with the following:

Is it getting dark, Mummy?

Yes, it is getting very dark, Mummy.

Mummy? Why is it getting very dark?

Will I tell you why it’s getting very dark, Mummy?

Because the morning is [whispering for dramatic effect:] starting to disappear.

Yes. Because you know, Mummy,... the morning can disappear.

And the dark too.

Everything can disappear!

* * * * *

fly

Malachy: When I grow up I'm going to be an ice-skater and a scientist!

Mummy: Wow! What kind of scientist are you going to be?

Malachy: The kind that invents things. I'm going to invent a way to make human beings fly!

don't be long

Lorcan: Are you going to pick up Malachy?

Daddy: Yes, I am.

Lorcan: OK, but don’t be too long.

Daddy: OK

Lorcan: No. Go fast!

Daddy: OK!

Lorcan: But... Don’t go too fast.

Daddy: I won't.

Lorcan: Actually... Go slowly.

Daddy: Okaaaaay!

Lorcan: Bye, bye, Daddy. You can be long, but be careful.

storybook life

Malachy: Do you think we’re in a story, Mummy?

Me: What do you mean?

Malachy: I mean do you think maybe we’re in a story and somebody is reading us?

Me: Well, I’ve never thought about that possibility…

Malachy: Well, if we are, I hope they don’t close the book and squash us!

inventor no more

Liam: When I grow up I want to be a drummer. I used to want to be an inventor but then I realised I might die in the middle of one of my inventions-

Mummy: -interrupting- Die???

Liam: Yeah, like in an explosion or something. And I don’t want to die, so I’m going to be a drummer instead.

and i quote

*quoted word for word from one of Liam's school assignments:

The Story of Bread

I love bread. It is very yummy.

Bread is made from wiete. Bread

is just so yummy that I wid eat it

rite now.

santa rocks

Liam: You know Santa Claus used to be a rock star!

Malachy: Wow...

Liam: Yeah, but then he wasn't able to be in a band any more so he had to think of something else to do. And that's when he started doing good....

Malachy: And giving presents to all the children?

Liam: Yeah.

Malachy: Wow.

Liam: Yeah.

tomorrow

Malachy: (while being tucked into bed the other night)... Mummy, I don't think I'm going to have any tantrums at all tomorrow.

Mummy just gives him a kiss and a smile and quietly thinks to herself: "at least his intentions are good..." :)

cowboy

Lorcan: Daddy, I'm a cowboy and you are my horsey!

words *are* treats

Liam: Today is Friday. That means it's...

Malachy: Treat day!

Liam: Yeah. But I was going to say: Friday is spelling test day. And I love spelling tests!!

*He's not a geek. But he is a word-eating monster.

let 'em eat cake

We recently did some baking for a charity event in aid of a Dublin hospice. Malachy must have overheard me explaining to Liam what a "hospice" is, because later on that day, through a mouthful of red velvet chocolate cake, he declared:

When people are dying... you just give them cake.

you know what i think?

Liam: You know what I think Mummy?

Mummy: What?

Liam: I think that everyone who's in a wheelchair is really a mermaid.

Mummy: Like the character in your Superman comic?

Liam: Yeah.

Mummy: I think that's a really beautiful idea, Liam.

Liam: I know. And you know what?

Mummy: What?

Liam: At first I thought it was just her, but now I think that it's all the people who are in wheelchairs... but they just keep it a secret. And when they get in the water they can swim... wow... they can swim better than... they can swim the best.

marriage and babies

Liam: I love you so much, Mummy!

Mummy: I love you that much too, pet.

Liam: When I grow up, I’m going to marry you, Mummy.

Mummy: No, Liam. I’ve told you this before… you can’t marry me because I’m already married to Daddy.

Liam: Oh yeah. But if I can’t marry you, then who can I marry?... And if I can’t marry anyone, then how will I get a baby?!

Mummy: Liam, you don't have to worry about having babies just yet... or getting married -or not- for that matter. And, anyway, if you do get married, it'll probably be to someone you don’t even know yet. It's not going to happen for a long time.

Liam: Oh yeah because I have to be more than twenty, don't I?

Mummy: Yes. Or thirty even!

Liam: [tone of disbelief] Thirty?!!

Mummy: Yes, I was nearly thirty-one when I married Daddy.

Liam: [fits of laughter] Ha-ha-ha... thirty-one!!

Mummy: I don't see what's so funny about that!

Liam: [pulls himself together] Oh, nothing! [Pause] But Mummy, how do you know who you want to marry?

Mummy: You just know because you fall in love with them and you want to stay with them. Anyway, maybe you won’t want to get married at all. And that's ok. Lots of people don’t get married.

Liam: But then how can I get a baby?

Mummy: Well you don’t need to get married to have a baby. You just need to be grown up and with someone you really love and who really loves you. And the two of you have to really want a baby, and...

Liam: No, stop!... Actually. It’s ok, Mummy. Forget it! If I can’t marry you, I’ll just wait till I’ve grown up and then I’ll travel around the world looking for the people who don’t want their babies, and I'll get them and take care of them.

* * * * * * *

[two minutes later]

Malachy: Mummy, when I grow up I'm going to marry YOU!

Mummy: Oh, Malachy... you know you can't marry me... I'm you're Mummy and I'm already married to Daddy!

Malachy: OK. I'll marry Lorcan then.

Mummy: You can't marry him either. He's your brother.

Malachy: OK, then Liam!

Mummy: Um, Liam's your brother too!

Malachy: Oh yeah. [Pause] ...Well, Anna says she's going to marry Liam. Maybe I could marry Anna too!

Mummy: ¿¿???!!!

me and my big mouth!

Lorcan is going to great lengths to try to start talking more coherently. He's currently into shouting a lot too. Seems to like the sounds of his own voice and enjoys experimenting with his registers (earplugs, anyone?).

Today, he decided he needed to intervene in a fight between his two big brothers (yes, of course, they fight... they're brothers!).

"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy...." he yelled from the hallway into the kitchen.

"Yes, love, I'm on my way", I replied

"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy...." he yelled persistently until I managed to get to his side.

"Ee-am hitt-een Ma-ky... Ee-am hitt-een Ma-ky... " he repeated hysterically. (Translation: "Liam is hitting Malachy")

"Why you naughty little telltale you!" was my only thought.

death, a reprise

Still intrigued by Liam's thoughts on death last night, this afternoon I decided to put the same question to him myself. To my surprise, he came up with a totally different answer this time:

Mummy: Liam, what happens when you're dead?

Liam: Well, you can either go to heaven... or you can become a ghost.

Mummy: Oh! And which would you prefer?

Liam: Hmmm. I don't know. I haven't decided yet.

relaxation?

Last night before bed, we overheard the boys chatting:

Malachy: Liam, what happens when you're dead?

Liam: You just lie down and close your eyes, like you're asleep.

Malachy: But what happens?

Liam: Nothing! You just look like you're asleep. I think being dead is probably very... relaxing.

girl talk

Liam: It's nice to have a girl in the house

Mummy: Why?

Liam: Because girls talk cute.

Mummy: awww

Liam: I wish I had a sister!

Mummy: But you have brothers! I never had a sister either you know.

Liam: You didn't have a sister, but you were a sister!!

but why?

Liam: Mummy, you lied to me!

Mummy: ¿¿??!! What? No I didn't! What makes you think that?

Liam: You said the wishbone would make my wish come true!!!

Mummy: Oh, um... that's not exactly what I said, love. I said you can make a wish on the wishbone if you win... but there's never any guarantee it's going to come true. Some things are just impossible... and anyway, I don't even know what you wished for!

Malachy: [butting in enthusiastically] Huh! Liam wished for chocolate and we didn't get it!!!

Mummy: Oh! You never told me that!

Liam: Because you said you have to keep your wishes a secret!!

Mummy: Ah, yes, I did, didn't I?

Liam: Yes, you did. And now I have no wish! All I wished for was a chocolate bar for me and Malachy and Lorcan every afternoon... forever.

Mummy: Is that all?!

* * * * *

because I'm a [small]talker too...

It's the middle of January but I don't care, I still toddle around everywhere singing:

"Dinda Bell, dinda bell, dinda all a-waaaaay"...

Yes, that's "jingle bells", of course! And I have a beautiful singing voice and excellent pitch, I'll have you know!

:D

when i don't know what to say...

Liam: What do you say when you don't know what to say?

Mummy: Well that depends...

Liam: Sometimes when I don't know what to say, I say "I love you"

mental photographs

Sitting on the loo...

Liam: You know, sometimes I take photos with my brain.

Mummy: Oh! And how do you do that?

Liam: I just look at something and look at it... and look at it... and make it slow down really slow... and then I take a photo of it with my brain.

Mummy: And why do you do that?

Liam: So that I can take it with me and remember it another time.

A while later in the kitchen...

Liam: See! I just took a photo of you with my brain just then!

Mummy: When?

Liam: Just now when you were taking out the yoghurt. Now I can keep that in my brain and look at it tomorrow when I'm at school!

Mummy: I think that's cool.

Liam: Yeah, it is.

secrets

After singing and story-telling Lorcan and Malachy to sleep tonight, Liam remained awake. I told him he should really be able to go to sleep by himself now and he agreed. So, I kissed him, told him I love him, bade him good night and made my exit. Seconds later, he was down the bunk bed ladder and behind me on the landing:

Mummy: Liam! Why did you get out of bed?

Liam: (upset) Mummy, I want you to stay with me. Come back and tell me another story.

Mummy: You've already heard three songs and three stories. Your brothers are asleep. It's late. I'll bring you back to your bed and tuck you in, but then I have to go. I've got some work to do.

Liam: (tone of genuine desperation) No! Please no!

Mummy: Liam, what's wrong? Are you afraid?

Liam: (tone of reluctance) I didn't want to tell you because it's a secret but, yes.

Mummy: But what are you afraid of?

Liam: The nighttime. I'm afraid of the nighttime. And that's not the only secret. (visibly nervous) There's another one. (deadly serious) The second secret is that I'm just not a sleeping person, Mummy, I'm not... I'm just not a sleeping person. I'm not even tired so I think I'll come downstairs with you instead of staying in my bed. I'm just not going to sleep.

After guiding him gently back to his bed, rubbing his head, making him take five or six long, deep breaths and whispering a handfull of sweet nothings into his ear (i.e. less than 1 minute later), my sweet "non-sleeping" boy was fast asleep

:)

inheritance

*Cutting Liam's nails, after bathtime tonight, only one nail left to go, he runs off to fool around with Malachy...

Mummy: Liam, come back! There's still one nail left to cut.

Liam: Okaaaaay

*He returns

*Clip Clip

Liam: I never knew it took so long to do ONE nail!

Mummy: Ha! Where did you get that sarcasm from?

Liam: From you, Mummy. I got it from you.

*Come on, universe! He is only 5!!!

kissing

"Mummy, kissing you makes me tired"

dancing shoes

-"You know, Granny's going to buy me Irish dancing shoes so that I can dance in Irish"

Liam's first ever poem

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Eating lots of bananas,
Where do you think he put the skin?
Into the king's pyjamas!

* * *
by Liam
aged 5 years, 1 month

* * *

a poem by Liam, age 5

There was a buzzy bee
Buzzing around my nose...

(And what do you think happened next?)

He said:

"I beg your pardon,
I thought you were a garden"

* * *
by Liam
aged 5 years, 1 month
* * *

relax

After telling him off...

Liam: Well, if you love me, you should relax.

broken hearts

Overheard yesterday:

Liam: If your heart breaks that means you’re old.

Maeve: Are you still alive if your heart is broken?

Liam: Yeah, you are… but you just get a little bit old.

mummies and daddies

Liam playing "house" with his friend Maeve...

Maeve: Come on, Liam! It's time to play now!

Liam: OKAAaay... But if we're going to do that baby thing with Malachy again, can I be the Mummy this time???

cuteness

Watching a National Geographic documentary on the African Plains, after the bit about the love birds, Liam observes:

Liam: Yeah, yeah... these love birds are very cute but they can bite your finger!

forgetting again

Liam: Daddy's gone to Barcelona

Malachy: Yeah, Daddy 'don 'a 'Lalona

Liam: When are you going to Barcelona with Lorcan, Mummy?

Mummy: On Thursday.

Liam: When Mummy goes to Barcelona, you and me will sleep in Granny's house.

Malachy: Oh, wow!

Liam: And we'll take Nemo and Bob [the new goldfish] with us too

Malachy: Oh, wow!

Liam: Mummy?

Mummy: Yes, Liam?

Liam: And this time when you're all gone to Barcelona I think I'm going to forget the English words!!!

[See what I meant about awareness*]

away

Liam: I love you Mummy... more than anything

Mummy: I know you do, honey. Me too.

Liam: And if you went away, I wouldn't be able to love you

Mummy: Why?

Liam: I don't know

Mummy: You can love people even when they've gone away, you know.

Liam: Can you?

Mummy: Yeah. Uncle Eric's gone away and we still love him, don't we?

Liam: Yes... but that's not YOU, Mummy!!!

i wish

Liam and Malachy are really into the Mr. Men and Little Misses books at the moment! This would explain what he said to me on way to school this morning.

Liam: Mummy, you know if I could see one of those flowers that you blow now, I'd get it and blow it all away and then I'd make a wish!

Mummy: Well, keep your eyes peeled, there might be one around here somewhere.

[Thirty seconds later]

Liam: Mummy, mummy, look! Here's one!

Mummy: Great! Don't forget to make a wish!

Liam: Oh, oh, yeah... I wish...

Mummy: Stop, no! It should be a secret if you want it to come true!

Liam: [squinting eyes up tight and whispering] I wish there could be a Mister Man here now...!

[Mummy pretends she didn't hear at thing]

Liam: [looking all around] I can't see him!

Mummy: Can't see who?

Liam: The Mister Man in my wish!

Mummy: You wished for a Mister Man?

Liam: Yes! But he isn't here yet.

Mummy: That's probably because he knows he wouldn't be allowed into school.

Liam: Oh yeah. Or maybe it's because he's Mr. Forgetful and he forgot!

grave

At the graveyard beside his Uncle Eric's grave:

~Did he die here Mummy?

~When’s he going to be alive again?

~Mummy, I don’t think he’s really dead. He just hurt his hand and the doctor is going to make him better.

~When did he die?

~How?

~When are you going to die, Daddy?

~Will you wait until I’m a big man? And then wait until you’re really old and I’m really old before you die?

~You know Mummy, sometimes babies die. My friend T. told me that.

~Mummy, tell me about all the people here who died.

blood!

Granddad is playing Lorcan's favourite game: sitting him on his knee and letting him swing his head, leaning back and forwards. Granny gets a little worried:

Granny: Shay! Careful! Don't let him stay down there so long! All the blood will rush to his head!

Liam [Jumping up instantly and speaking in a tone of sheer morbid excitement]: Blood! What blood! Where?!!

awareness

This week our darling "Abuela" (grandmother) is here visiting from Bilbao. Liam is finding it hard to remember a lot of his Spanish and since he doesn't have the fall-back that he has with his dad (who understands English when he slips into it), he's feeling frustrated about not being able to say everything that he wants to say....

Mummy: Spanish, Liam, say it in Spanish. You know that Abuela doesn't understand English

Liam: [tone of frustration] I know!! But I can't remember all the words!

Mummy: That's ok but keep trying...

Liam: [tone of blame] You know when I forgot the words? Remember when Lorcan had the "pupa" on his lip and you and Daddy went to Barcelona with him for a long, long, long, long, long, long time? And the doctor fixed Lorcan's "pupa" but you didn't come home for days and days and days and days and lots and lots of long, long days? Well, that is when I forgot the words!!

We were gone for just over two weeks and, although he still understands Spanish perfectly and speaks quite a bit, he's right, those two weeks of unfortunate separation form all spoken Spanish left their mark :( He's getting better by the day though, thanks to Daddy, Abuela and lots of stories about "piratas", "animales", "dinosaurios" and "aventuras" of all kinds.

numbers

Liam: Lorcan is one and great-granddad is eighty-one.

Mummy: That's right!

Liam: Can we make him a birthday cake and put his number on it like we did for Lorcan?

Mummy: Sure we can!

Liam: Eighty-one is a lot of numbers. [Thoughtful pause]... And when all his numbers are gone, great-granddad will be dead.

Mummy: Um, yes... and won't we all!

family

Liam: How do we become families?

eternal darkness

Liam: Mummy, what would happen if the cock-a-doodle-doo forgot to wake up?! Would it be dark forever?

Mummy: um...

Liam: Because if the cock-a-doodle-doo doesn't wake up the sun, then the sun doesn't come up, and then it stays dark.... forever!

Mummy: um... maybe someone else could wake up the sun instead.

Liam: Like me?

Mummy: Why not?

Liam: OK!.... COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOOO!!!!!

hairy legs

Liam takes one look at Mummy's (slightly) hairy legs, rubs his finger along one of them and says:

Liam: Mummy, are you turning into a man?

censored!

Mummy: I thought you said you we're going to do a pee-pee?

Liam: I did. There's a remote control in my willie.

Mummy: *dumbfounded*

malachy speak

playing the what's that body part game with Malachy...

Mummy: and what's that?

Malachy: that's my belly

Mummy: mhm, and what's that?

Malachy: that my belly-button.

Mummy: and what are they (pointing at nipples)

Malachy: they my buttons

one

On the day of Lorcan's first birthday:

Liam: Mummy, Lorcan is one! Now he has age!

growing up

Mummy: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Liam: But I don’t want to grow up!

Mummy: Why is that, love?

Liam: Because Daddy loves me just the way I am!

on death, again...

Liam -When are you going to die?

Mummy-I don’t know that, Liam. Nobody knows that.

Liam -Yes but are you going to wait until I grow up before you die?

Mummy- Yes, of course I am, darling.

Liam -Thank you, Mummy.

*smile*

easter bunny

Shattering our hopes of long years of Easter Bunny believing...

Liam: I saw the shadow of Mr. Potato Head in the bag the other day and now I realise that YOU are the Easter Bunny, Mummy, because YOU put the Easter eggs behind the sofa! Now I realised that there’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny!

This cannot be happening! He's only 4!!!! We OBVIOUSLY told him we have no idea what bag he's talking about and that it must have been the Easter Bunny's bag because we've never seen that Mr. Potato Head Easter Egg before in our lives. Honest!

brain yet again?

Probably after one too many Scooby-Doo stories:

Liam: Mammy! Don’t tell me stories about vampires because they make me scared. I had a dream in my brain and it was really strange...

brain again

In a moment of headcold frustration:

Liam: I have “mocos” (Spanish for mucus, i.e. snot) in my brain.

death

Liam spent quite some time musing over the death of his granddad's beautiful dog Saoirse.

-But HOW did she die?

-So has she MELTED now?

-Did she do this? (hands making movement from wide to narrow... symbolising her getting smaller and smaller until nothing is left)

-I know where Saoirse went. She went were dogs and cats go. To Barcelona like Chili.

-If Saoirse died because she was sick, when I'm sick am I going to die?

-If you die when your really old, is great-granddad going to die?

pet

After stroking Liam's head affectionately for whatever reason...

Liam: Mummy, did you just pet me?!!

Mummy: Huh!?

brains

Liam: Malachy! You hit me in the brain with that! Mummy! Malachy hit me in the brain with that! Now I have no remember. I can only remember a few things! Mummy? Did I see a cat when I was in Barcelona?

Me: Hmmm I think so.

Liam: Oh, yes, of course! It’s ok, I remember everything now. I got my remember back!

dress up

In the middle of January:

Liam: Next year for Halloween I want to dress up as a ballerina, an egg, a pirate or a bee!

imagine

During Lorcan's nap:

Liam: Did you hear Lorcan?

Me: No. Did you?

Liam: No. I was just using my imagination. That was all.

tiptoe

Liam: Mummy, last night when you were asleep I crept out of my bed and I tiptoed down the stairs because I was hungry. I took this chair and I pulled it over to there and climbed up on top of it and opened that door there and took out one of those cookies and ate it all up!
Pause And it wasn’t a dream. It was REAL!!

two and a half days into Daddy’s 8-day absence

Liam: I’m not glad about Daddy going ALL around the planet on a plane...

at the library with granny...

Liam -Granny?

Granny -Yes Liam?

Liam -You know, nobody here at the library will think that you’re a granny. They’ll think you’re just an old mummy.

food

Me -Are you hungry, Liam?

Liam-Yes. My tummy is telling me that it wants food.

ball games

Laim -What’s rugby?

Me -It’s a sport you play with two teams and a rugby ball... and... um...

Liam -And what do you have to do?

Me -I’m not sure of the rules but you have to try to keep the ball and run around the pitch and score a try... um... I think...

Liam -Ah yeah, I know!! You have to get the ball into a basket thing!

Me -No, that’s basketball!

Liam -OK. So where do you put the ball in rugbyball?

Me -Maybe you should ask Daddy!

dress secret

Liam: Can I tell you a secret?

Me: Sure

Liam: Today I’m going to dress myself. But don’t tell anyone. It’s gonna be a surprise.

Me: Great! OK. I won’t tell anyone.

Pause

Liam: Do you promise?

Me: I promise.

Pause

Liam: Mammy when it’s 6 o’clock I gonna….

Me: Do that secret thing?..

Liam: SSSSsshhhh!!!! (running over to hush me)

Liam: (whispering in my ear) Don’t even say “secret thing”. OK?

Me: OK

Liam: You promise?

Me: I promise

Liam: OK

Walks away and plays as if nothing had happened. 6 o’clock comes and goes and he continues playing, oblivious.
So much for really important secrets!

worlds

Liam: Is that story about a different world?

Me: I suppose you could say that, yes.

Liam: I wish I could be in that world. Because it’s so easy to make things in that world.

knowing

Like a lot of 4-year-olds Liam almost never shuts up. In the car one day, he was going on an on and on an on.... asking question after question after question... We're normally very patient and answer as many questions as we can... but after a while that day, exasperation took over and we began to cheat:

Liam: Mummy, what's ***?

Mummy: I don't know.

Liam: Daddy, what's ***?

Daddy: I don't know.

Liam: Mummy, what's ***?

Mummy: I don't know.

Liam: Well, you must know something!!!

always mummy

Liam: Mummy?

Mummy: Yes?

Liam: You know, when I’m big like daddy, you’ll still be my mammy.

Mummy: I know *smile*

Santa Claus is coming to town....

Me: So, Liam, what are you going to ask Santa Claus to bring you this year?

Liam: A surprise!

Me: That's a really great idea. What do you think he'll bring me?

Liam: Hmmmm (thoughtful pause).... I know! He could give you a rainbow!

Me: (in awe) A rainbow... wow!

Liam: Yeah! Santa Claus just goes like this (big sweeping movement with arm) and makes a rainbow for you! 

the king

Liam has been cast as one of the Three Wise Kings in the Nativity play at his school! I brought him this fabulous Wise King costume back from Barcelona yesterday and I must say, no sooner was it on his back when he began to really get into character:

Me: Wow! You look gorgeous Liam!

Liam: Don't call me Liam Mammy!! You have to call me King Liam! (Pause)... Or Your Majesty...

Me: Oh! Why, yes of course, your majesty!

 

the big difference between boys and girls

Malachy: Uuuk, Mammy!! (Translation: “Look, Mammy”).

He holds up a little toy figurine to show me. It’s a figurine of a little girl with shoulder-length brown hair, wearing a sunhat and a swimsuit and holding a bucket in one hand and a spade in the other.

Me: Yes, Malachy. Is that your little friend?

Malachy: Yep.

Me: She’s lovely!

Malachy: May-de isa durl (Translation: “Maybe it’s a girl”)

Liam: (Butting in) Of course it’s a girl! This is the boy!

Liam shows me a similar little figurine of a boy with short blonde hair wearing football gear and holding a ball.

Me: But how do you know which one's the boy and which one's the girl?

Liam: You know that Mammy!! (looking up to the heavens and sighing in exasperation). Because of the EYES!! Look?!

Pointing to the tiny little eyelashes on the girl doll and the lack of eyelashes on the boy doll

Liam: See?!

Malachy: Yep.

I miss...

When we were away on holiday in Bilbao and San Sebastian last week, after about two days Liam said...

Liam: Mammy, I miss Granny and Granddad

After 3 days he said...

Liam: I miss Miss Cooney (his teacher)

After 4 days he said...

Liam: I miss my friends from school

His order of priority seemed so touching to me…!

cup

Liam: You know? I had a dream that I was a cup!

Me: A cup?

Liam: Yeah. And when I was a cup I was wishing that I was a Liam

brotherly love!?

Liam: Malachy? Do you love me?

Malachy: Yeah

Liam: Malachy? Do you love me 20 euros?

Malachy: Eeeemm... Yeah!

Japan

At the dinner table, Liam is pretending to be a magician and he hides his fork behind his back…

Liam: You see? It disappeared!

Me: Wow! And where did it go?

Liam: It just disappeared!

Me: But where do things go when they disappear?

Liam: To Japan.

Me: Oh!

Liam: And do you know who else is in Japan?

Me: No, who?

Liam: Cinderella… and the 3 little pigs… and the muffin man…

Me: No way! And do you know who else lives in Japan?

Liam: Of course! (eagerly) Séan and Sarah!

Just in case you didn’t know, that last part is in fact true. Séan and Sarah are Liam’s cousins who do, in effect, live in Tokyo. I think this proves that he thinks wherever they live must be a really mysterious fairytale place…

knowing

Liam: (At the playground) Mammy, do you see that little house over there?

Me: Yes

Liam: That's where you go to sit when you're tired and you want to have a rest

Me: Really?

Liam: Yeah. You know how I know that?

Me: No, how?

Liam: (deadly serious) Because I know things. I just know lots of things...

mad old cow

Liam playing with his toy animals, doing all the voices and multiple role-plays in his little imaginary world...

Liam: Mammy, here (handing me a brown plastic toy cow)- you be the mad old cow and I'll be the nice little horse

Me: OK, great...

the winner

Liam: Let's have a race!

Malachy: O-tay (translation "OK")

Liam: Let's see if I'll be the winner. I'm bigger than you so I'm gonna be the winner

Malachy: O-tay

Liam: You see when I was a baby and Mammy was a boy, then Mammy was the winner of the race because she was bigger than me.

Malachy: O-tay

eye spy

Liam: Can you see that little spider, Mammy?

Me: Wow, that's a really tiny spider, Liam!

Liam: I know. I can see it because I have really good eye spy

Me: You mean 'eyesight'

Liam: Yeah, eye spy!

 

shadow

Liam: I know what a shadow is!

Me: OK, what is it?

Liam: Well, its a sort of a person... that goes with a person... but it's another person...

Me: Um, yeah...

death

My father's dog Saoirse died this weekend. Liam has some questions about death:

Liam: When you die, what happens? Does somebody come and take you away?

* * * *

Liam: I know a way you can die. If somebody kills you, then you die.

* * * *

Liam: If Granny and Granddad are so sad because Saoirse is gone, maybe I can go in there and cheer up them....

* * * *

Liam: When am I going to die? Does everybody have to die? I don't want to die!

* * * *

Malachy (age 2): (Holding up his last piece of sausage -the piece that he always saved for the dog) Saoirse? (Pause. Sigh)... Poor Saoirse

dark white

Liam: Mammy, I can't find my toy car!

Me: Which one?

Liam: You know... the one that's red and dark white

Me: Dark white?! What colour is that?

Liam: It's this colour, look!... Points at cream-coloured tablecloth!

spot the difference

At dinner, as usual, Liam is lagging behind everyone else...

Liam: Hey, I know! Let's play 'spot the difference'

Me: Oh, that's easy... your plate's different to everyone elses' because ours are almost empty and yours is still almost full! Come on, eat up!

Liam: No, Mammy, 'spot the difference' is not a race. Oh! But if this is a race, maybe I should eat faster then!

Me: Um, yeah... whatever...

it ain't easy being good...

Me: Liam! Why are you being so bold?! I hope you don't behave like this in school!

Liam: No, I'm always good in school Mammy!!

Me: So, why are you so naughty at home?

Liam: Well, I'm only in school for a little time, Mammy,... but I'm at home ALL day!!

better than you

Liam: Granny,... Grandad's better than you!

Granny: (disappointed) Why is that?

Liam: Because he does better things than you. He takes me to the park and we have picnics and adventures...

Granny: Oh...

remembering...

After 9 whole days of separation, on the phone today:

Liam: Mammy, I don't know what you look like!

Me: (grappling with my emotions) Well, you know what? I look a lot like you!

Liam: giggles

goodbyes

I haven't seen Liam and Malachy for almost 9 days now and it's really killing me. I miss them both so much, it really hurts. Jaime and I are in Barcelona with Lorcan while he's recovering from the cleft lip surgery he had last Tuesday. He's doing really well and we're all dying to get back home to the boys. We chat on the phone every evening and for the past three days my conversations with Liam have ended something like this:

Me: OK, Liam, we better say goodbye now love...

Liam: Mammy?

Me: Yes, Liam?

Liam: (Pause) (worried tone) Can I give you a kiss?

Me: Oh yes, please!

Liam: *smuak*

Me: *smuak*... I love you

Liam: (sounding happier now) OK, bye Mammy!

noisy

Me: (On the phone to my mum who's currently minding Liam and Malachy) So,... how are they behaving?

Granny: Oh, they're being really good

Lots of background noise.

Me: Wow! Sounds like they're really getting into it!

Granny: They're really well-behaved ALL the time EXCEPT when I'm on the phone!! (Muffled voice) Boys! Come on be good now, I'm on the phone to mammy!! Play nicely, please! I can't hear anything!

Liam: (to Granny) But I want to play NOISY, Granny!

More laughs, giggles, squeals, etc...

so, where are we going?

Liam: (looking at me trying on my new coat) Where are we going?

Me: Nowhere

Liam: So why are you putting on your coat?

Me: Oh, I'm just trying it on

Liam: We're not going anywhere today?

Me: Well, actually... today you and Malachy are going to go and stay in Granny's house and Daddy and me are going to Barcelona with Lorcan to see the doctor who's going to make his lip better.

Liam: You mean you're wearing your new coat so the doctor will see you and say "you have a beautiful coat"?

Me: (dumbfounded)!!

peter pan

Me: Liam, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Liam: (Straight face, no hesitation) Small!

Me: (Perplexed) How small?

Liam: (Touching the top of his own head) Small,.. like me!

Me: (Presuming he didn't get the question right) Huh?

Liam: Small, like me, now! I don’t want to grow up! I want to be a little boy forEVER!

Me: Oh, Liam, but being a big man is fun too!

Liam: I don’t want to be a big man. A big man has to work and I just want to PLAY!

me and my shadow

Liam: (Compelling tone) Mammy, there’s something I want to ask you...

Me: What’s that, Liam?

Liam: (Staring into my eyes) Are you afraid of shadows?

Me: Well, that depends what kind of shadows they are...

Liam: Your own shadow!

Me: (Relieved) You don’t have to be afraid of your own shadow!

Liam: But I think it’s gonna get me. I comes right behind me… really big… closer and closer!!! I want it to go away!

Me: (Laughing openly)

Liam: What’s so funny?!

Me: It’s YOUR shadow! It’s attached to you! It’s never going to go away

Liam: But is it going to get me?

Me: No

Liam: (Happy enough) OK!

orphaned

Liam: Mammy, I had a dream that I had no Mammy and no Daddy

Me: Aw no, love! And were you very sad?

Liam: Yes (thoughtful pause). And I was scared too. (Even more thoughtful pause). But it was only a dream!

the [Small]talkers...

Who are the [Small]talkers?

Right now, Liam is going to take most of the limelight here but...

...as soon as they start conversing fluently with Jaime and I, Malachy and Lorcan will be [small]talking too..!

In the meantime, you can check us all out and our family exploits at The JamRobBlog!

starting to [small]talk...

What is [Small]talk?

[Small]talk is this new place I have created to record some of the little conversations I have with my 4-year-old son, Liam.

These quirky little conversations of ours can amuse me,
...entertain me,
baffle me,
enthrall me,
puzzle me,

...but they always beguile me.

Enjoy...