censored!

Mummy: I thought you said you we're going to do a pee-pee?

Liam: I did. There's a remote control in my willie.

Mummy: *dumbfounded*

malachy speak

playing the what's that body part game with Malachy...

Mummy: and what's that?

Malachy: that's my belly

Mummy: mhm, and what's that?

Malachy: that my belly-button.

Mummy: and what are they (pointing at nipples)

Malachy: they my buttons

one

On the day of Lorcan's first birthday:

Liam: Mummy, Lorcan is one! Now he has age!

growing up

Mummy: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Liam: But I don’t want to grow up!

Mummy: Why is that, love?

Liam: Because Daddy loves me just the way I am!

on death, again...

Liam -When are you going to die?

Mummy-I don’t know that, Liam. Nobody knows that.

Liam -Yes but are you going to wait until I grow up before you die?

Mummy- Yes, of course I am, darling.

Liam -Thank you, Mummy.

*smile*

easter bunny

Shattering our hopes of long years of Easter Bunny believing...

Liam: I saw the shadow of Mr. Potato Head in the bag the other day and now I realise that YOU are the Easter Bunny, Mummy, because YOU put the Easter eggs behind the sofa! Now I realised that there’s no such thing as the Easter Bunny!

This cannot be happening! He's only 4!!!! We OBVIOUSLY told him we have no idea what bag he's talking about and that it must have been the Easter Bunny's bag because we've never seen that Mr. Potato Head Easter Egg before in our lives. Honest!

brain yet again?

Probably after one too many Scooby-Doo stories:

Liam: Mammy! Don’t tell me stories about vampires because they make me scared. I had a dream in my brain and it was really strange...

brain again

In a moment of headcold frustration:

Liam: I have “mocos” (Spanish for mucus, i.e. snot) in my brain.

death

Liam spent quite some time musing over the death of his granddad's beautiful dog Saoirse.

-But HOW did she die?

-So has she MELTED now?

-Did she do this? (hands making movement from wide to narrow... symbolising her getting smaller and smaller until nothing is left)

-I know where Saoirse went. She went were dogs and cats go. To Barcelona like Chili.

-If Saoirse died because she was sick, when I'm sick am I going to die?

-If you die when your really old, is great-granddad going to die?

pet

After stroking Liam's head affectionately for whatever reason...

Liam: Mummy, did you just pet me?!!

Mummy: Huh!?

brains

Liam: Malachy! You hit me in the brain with that! Mummy! Malachy hit me in the brain with that! Now I have no remember. I can only remember a few things! Mummy? Did I see a cat when I was in Barcelona?

Me: Hmmm I think so.

Liam: Oh, yes, of course! It’s ok, I remember everything now. I got my remember back!

dress up

In the middle of January:

Liam: Next year for Halloween I want to dress up as a ballerina, an egg, a pirate or a bee!

imagine

During Lorcan's nap:

Liam: Did you hear Lorcan?

Me: No. Did you?

Liam: No. I was just using my imagination. That was all.

tiptoe

Liam: Mummy, last night when you were asleep I crept out of my bed and I tiptoed down the stairs because I was hungry. I took this chair and I pulled it over to there and climbed up on top of it and opened that door there and took out one of those cookies and ate it all up!
Pause And it wasn’t a dream. It was REAL!!

two and a half days into Daddy’s 8-day absence

Liam: I’m not glad about Daddy going ALL around the planet on a plane...

at the library with granny...

Liam -Granny?

Granny -Yes Liam?

Liam -You know, nobody here at the library will think that you’re a granny. They’ll think you’re just an old mummy.

food

Me -Are you hungry, Liam?

Liam-Yes. My tummy is telling me that it wants food.

ball games

Laim -What’s rugby?

Me -It’s a sport you play with two teams and a rugby ball... and... um...

Liam -And what do you have to do?

Me -I’m not sure of the rules but you have to try to keep the ball and run around the pitch and score a try... um... I think...

Liam -Ah yeah, I know!! You have to get the ball into a basket thing!

Me -No, that’s basketball!

Liam -OK. So where do you put the ball in rugbyball?

Me -Maybe you should ask Daddy!

dress secret

Liam: Can I tell you a secret?

Me: Sure

Liam: Today I’m going to dress myself. But don’t tell anyone. It’s gonna be a surprise.

Me: Great! OK. I won’t tell anyone.

Pause

Liam: Do you promise?

Me: I promise.

Pause

Liam: Mammy when it’s 6 o’clock I gonna….

Me: Do that secret thing?..

Liam: SSSSsshhhh!!!! (running over to hush me)

Liam: (whispering in my ear) Don’t even say “secret thing”. OK?

Me: OK

Liam: You promise?

Me: I promise

Liam: OK

Walks away and plays as if nothing had happened. 6 o’clock comes and goes and he continues playing, oblivious.
So much for really important secrets!

worlds

Liam: Is that story about a different world?

Me: I suppose you could say that, yes.

Liam: I wish I could be in that world. Because it’s so easy to make things in that world.

knowing

Like a lot of 4-year-olds Liam almost never shuts up. In the car one day, he was going on an on and on an on.... asking question after question after question... We're normally very patient and answer as many questions as we can... but after a while that day, exasperation took over and we began to cheat:

Liam: Mummy, what's ***?

Mummy: I don't know.

Liam: Daddy, what's ***?

Daddy: I don't know.

Liam: Mummy, what's ***?

Mummy: I don't know.

Liam: Well, you must know something!!!

always mummy

Liam: Mummy?

Mummy: Yes?

Liam: You know, when I’m big like daddy, you’ll still be my mammy.

Mummy: I know *smile*